Considering a First Look or Touch?
This is something I see so many brides debate, because even though we don't want to put too much expectation on it, most of us want the biggest emotional reaction from our soon to be husband when they see us. While I've seen big emotions for all three versions, I think it's important to pick the one that fits you the best, so let's get into them for you to find out which that is!
FIRST LOOKS
Pros
- You get some private time with your partner instead of spending the entire first half of the day apart.
- You can get the majority of your photos done before the ceremony and enjoy your cocktail hour with your guests.
- Gives you a chance to do private, more personal vows.
Cons
- Some brides worry that their groom won’t have as emotional of a response when they walk down the aisle.
- You need to schedule carefully so that you don’t plan it so early that you’re sitting and waiting for a long time for the ceremony, but also not so late that early guests see you.
FIRST TOUCHES
Pros
- You get a little bit of time to talk to your partner before the ceremony
- It can help ease any nerves you have
- Gives you a chance to do private, more personal vows
- You still get the reveal when you first walk down the aisle
Cons
- Without seeing one another before the ceremony, you’ll have to wait to get any photos done until after
- You’ll need a good spot to either meet around a corner or around a door so thatyou don’t get an accidental sneak peek!
Not A Fan Of Either?
If neither option speaks to you, that's perfectly okay! You should do whatever feels right, so if you're wanting purely traditional, or you just want the big surprise, that's what you should do. You don't necessarily have to have direct contact to have connection. Here are some ways that I've seen other couples interact pre-ceremony without a first look or first touch:
Exchanging Gifts
Whether it's something sentimental or to incorporate on your day (jewelry, cuff links, etc.), this can show thoughtfulness and intention for your soon to be spouse.
Flowers & A Letter
I've seen grooms deliver them personally or have a groomsmen drop them off while the girls are beginning to get ready, or brides leave them in the groom's suite for when they arrive. It's a sweet way to start the day and get the emotions flowing!
Making a Video
This one was unique, but the groom put together a video of their favorite moments together, along with some clips of the bride's father who had passed. This got everyone to shed tears.
My Personal Take
On a personal note, my husband and I did choose to do a first look, and I highly recommend it to anyone considering. I didn’t like the idea of spending the majority of the day apart, and I was already feeling really anxious about being the center of so much attention, so seeing Hunter beforehand was a must for me. We chose to read private vows one another, because it felt like we could get a lot more personal and real without an audience, and then still got the big reveal when I walked down the aisle. As you can see, we got big emotions for both moments.
*Disclaimer: these are from my wedding, so they're not my style!
In Closing
If you're still not 100% sure on what to do, follow your gut, because worst case, you can ALWAYS change your mind. If you're worried about the timeline, don't be. My ultimate goal is to help you get what you need, so if what you need is time with your person, we'll move things around, and I'll take care of the adjustments. Wedding planning is so high stress, and this small part of your day is meant to help you minimize that, so don't let it do the opposite. Just keep in mind, whether you see one another on the aisle or sometime before, that's your spouse you're looking at, and that's what really matters!